OCD Awareness Week

 

Monday Morning Coffee will return next week, but today, I am sharing a few things about something that is a part of me and of my life. If you are a longtime reader, you may know I was diagnosed with OCD - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - in my early forties. Looking back, I realize I had tendencies years prior, but it wasn't until I could no longer control those intrusive thoughts and worries without them impacting my wonderful life that I finally walked into my doctor's office with Steve and asked for help. Today, I am happy to say that I am managing my OCD, and it is no longer impacting my daily life. 

I wish I could say I waved a magic wand and magically cured my OCD, but that is not the case. While there is no cure, OCD can be managed, and I am happy to say that is where I am now. It took years of hard work with a compassionate therapist, prayer, support from family and friends, and doctors committed to finding the proper medication to get here. I am now able to go to the doctor without severe anxiety. I can notice a twinge, a mole, or a racing heart without becoming paralyzed with fear. I no longer wake with an illogical fear of impending doom. I realize those intrusive thoughts are simply my anxious mind trying to get my attention. I know I can let them be there and move on with my day, and they will simply fade. 

Throughout this journey, I have learned a few things that I want to share with anyone who may be experiencing mental health issues and/or anxiety. First, Your mental health is as important as your physical health. If you feel ill, you go to the doctor. If you are sick, you take medicine. Are you embarrassed, ashamed, or worried about telling people you have a sickness like Diabetes? Nope. Treat your mental illness with as much respect as you do your physical illness. Get the help you need and deserve. Anyone who doesn't stand beside you through that doesn't belong in your space anyway. 

There is so much more to know, learn, and say about OCD. I will let the experts do that. Here are just a few of the things found on the International OCD Foundation Website.

That is all for today, my friends! Except for a few puppy pics, because who doesn't love those?

Literally how I found him when I woke up!

Have a wonderful, cozy Monday!

Billie Jo

It's OCD Awareness Week!

 

Hello, my friends. And Happy Wednesday! I am grateful for this little space for many reasons, and this is yet one more. This blog allows me to bring attention to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or OCD. I was diagnosed with OCD in my early 40s, although I now know I exhibited symptoms for years prior. That's the thing about mental health disorders. They are often shrouded in secrecy for fear of judgment and shame, at least until lately. We are finally in a place where people realize that the stigma surrounding mental health issues needs to be broken. I talk freely about my OCD in hopes that I can empower others to do the same. I have done my job if even one person feels strong enough to seek help for a mental issue because I have been open and honest about mine. OCD is hard enough. Thinking you are alone with the constant thoughts, obsessions, and anxiety is unbearable. 

Talking about mental health issues without judgment, educating yourself on them, and showing compassion toward those suffering from them are all ways you can help break the stigma surrounding OCD and other mental health disorders. One other thing. As someone suffering from OCD, I find it frustrating and difficult  to hear people casually say they are " a little OCD." Trust me. Having OCD is not fun or trendy. It isn't being neat and tidy. It is having an irrational thought pop into your head and being unable to let it go. Did I turn the stove off? Did I just run over someone? Did I always have this mole on my arm? The thoughts persist for so long that you begin to feel anxious and experience a sense of impending dread or doom. Your stomach aches. You start sweating, and your heart starts pounding. You think something terrible is going to happen. So you try to make it go away. You check the stove. Again. And again. You turn your car around and drive slowly to check to see if you hit something. You look in the mirror at the mole. Over and over. You ask someone else to look. You feel better for a minute or two. And then the entire cycle begins again. How do I know this? Because I have experienced every single one of these things. And it sucks.

But there is hope. You can learn to live with OCD. You can stop the cycle. How do I know? Because I have. Through therapy, hard work, and medication, I have made OCD a part of my life. It no longer controls it. I am not defined by it. Does it pop back in occasionally to ensure I haven't forgotten it? You bet! But I have the tools, the confidence, and the medication to deal with it. So, there's that!

And here are some pictures of a cute little dog. Just because. Who doesn't love a little Mocha in their life?

Have a wonderful Wednesday, my friends!

BillieJo

Images from @anxietyocdtreatment and the International OCD Foundation

found on Google

Check It Off!

 

Hello, my friends. I am coming to you a bit later this Monday. Today was Mammogram Day! (Hence, the lovely picture of me without a stitch of makeup and the slightly disturbing look on my face.) I used to absolutely fear this day. If you have read here for a while, you may recall that I suffer from OCD and Health Anxiety. Mammograms are at the top of my list when it comes to triggers. However, through the years, I have worked hard with my therapist to recognize that I am choosing to get a mammogram. I don't HAVE to go. I am choosing to go. I am doing it as preventive health care. Do I enjoy it? Nope. Do I still get apprehensive about it a few days prior? You bet. I schedule my yearly female appointment on the same day so my doctor can discuss the results with me. And thankfully, today, all was good! 

I am home now, showered, in my cozy clothes, and snuggled on the couch. There may have been a McDonald's Dr. Pepper on the way home, along with a prayer of thanksgiving. Have a cozy evening, my friends. I plan on visiting with you this afternoon!

BillieJo

Monday Morning Coffee

 

Good Monday morning! I couldn't wait another minute. I got a few of my fall mugs out of storage...aka the corner kitchen cupboard with a weird angle that makes it impossible to reach things in, so I keep lesser-used things in there... and I love my morning routine even more. One can not have too many fall and Halloween mugs, right?

I hope you had an enjoyable weekend, my friends. I say this every year, but it is hard to believe summer is almost over. Thinking back to that glorious last day of school as a child, leaving that bare classroom on an early afternoon in June, and saying goodbye to the friends you knew you wouldn't see for a while, summer seemed an eternity! Of course, we had three whole months of summer fun back then. And it made sense. June was the early part of summer. The weather was getting hot, the community pool was just opening, and the days stretched long and empty before us. July was an entire month of hot days at the pool and nights spent playing Ghosts in the Graveyard and Kickball with the neighbor kids after dinner until dark. August was much the same, with no thought of school until Mom took you to the mall or to Kmart for new school clothes and a pair of shoes. By the time Labor Day rolled around, we were ready to return to the squeaky-clean school and see the friends we hadn't seen in months. We couldn't wait to see who our teacher was and who was in our class and see the brand new tablet, pencil, and box of crayons on our desk. Oh, the good old days.

Our weekend was filled with fun, food, family, and friends. We visited with our friends Justin and Gina and their adorable baby Walter on Friday night! He is about 17 months old and is absolutely precious. He and I sat on the rocker on the porch, looking for deer while we waved at passing cars. I have the cutest picture of him but haven't asked their permission to share it here. It is clearly evident what a fantastic job they are doing with him, and we are so happy we could spend time with them, even doing something as simple as eating pizza and visiting with Toy Story on in the background.

Steve, Flynn, Peyton, and Chris went to Pittsburgh for the day on Saturday. They visited a science center and then attended the Steeler preseason game. They had a great time as evident from the photos they shared. Flynn was also happy to check a few things off her summer to-do list! Still left to be checked off? Completing a packet of math review pages and organizing her closet, but priorities. Right?!?

Although I planned on visiting my mom this weekend, I had several nice phone visits with her instead. She has good days and some not-so-good days, but even on those difficult days, she and I talk and laugh together. Alzheimer's Disease sucks. It really does. 

Rhett and I were on our own Saturday night, and my son made me one of the most delicious grilled cheese and soup meals ever! He made the sandwiches with Artisian Italian bread and put a little mayonnaise on them before he grilled them. Delicious!!!! We also watched some tv, and I once again thought how blessed I am with these children God gave me.

Sunday morning, I returned the favor with delicious waffles and fresh fruit. I made regular and pumpkin spice, and Steve cut some fresh peaches. So good.

Finally, Mocha is adapting to life without her best friend, as we all are. She likes snuggling on this beautiful blanket some dear friends gifted us. It is so soft and is covered in precious pictures of Kirby. I cannot tell you how much their thoughtfulness meant to us all.

This week I have a therapy appointment and an appointment with the psychiatrist I see for my OCD. There was a time when I hesitated to share a sentence like that. That day is long gone! The stigma of mental health issues must be challenged so that more people suffering in silence feel empowered to share their struggles and get the necessary help. Hiding OCD is exhausting and so very difficult. Treatment with a psychiatrist and through medication can and will change the life of someone suffering from OCD. I am proof of that.

In lighter news, the Bachelorette Finale is tonight! However, I will avoid any mention of it until I watch it Wednesday night. My best friend Heather is coming to watch it with us and can only come then due to work. We have watched this show together for years, and I look forward to seeing which man Charity chooses to spend the rest of her life with, despite only knowing him for six weeks and the fact that she is possibly in love with two other men. Quality television right there, friends!

Well, Mocha needs a bath desperately. And I need to get ready for the day. Have a wonderful Monday, and thanks for visiting!

BillieJo

May Is National Health Awareness Month!

 

Good Monday morning, my friends! Monday Morning Coffee Talk returns next week, but today is all about Mental Health Awareness. May is many things, among them Mental Health Awareness Month. This little space here allows me to bring awareness to mental health and the need to break the stigma associated with it. Several years ago, when I was finally diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Health Anxiety, I realized I had suffered silently for too long. In retrospect, I realize I was concerned about what people would think about me if they knew I had mental health issues. Those days are long gone, my friends. Finally becoming unable to live with the intrusive thoughts affecting my life and being forced to seek treatment were the best things that could have happened. Now I have the proper dosage of medication, regular sessions with a fantastic therapist, and a knowledgeable primary care physician and psychiatrist allowing me to manage these conditions that are part of my life. 

Anxiety is hard enough. Thinking you are alone with anxiety is unbearable. In sharing my experience, I hope to help even one person see that living with anxiety is possible. You are not alone in your worries, fears, anxiousness, and intrusive thoughts. I am proof of that. Recently I realized that my anxiety has lessened and that I can handle certain situations without becoming anxious or obsessive. My mind isn't ruminating, causing me to seek reassurance about things I fear. When I thank her for helping me, my therapist reminds me regularly that she is there to provide me the tools I need but that I do the hard work. Just recently, I realized she was right. I wish I could say a magic wand exists that will take all the anxiety, fear, worry, and obsessions away. But that will never be true. The truth is, I work every day to manage my OCD and anxiety. I accept that it will never be gone entirely, but I can honestly say I am managing it in a healthy, productive way. 

I have learned a few things that may help you on your mental health journey.

*Show yourself the same compassion you show others. What do you do when someone you love is struggling? You offer help and support. Do the same for yourself. You deserve it.

*Accept help. Let your loved ones in. Struggling with anxiety while trying to keep it a secret is unimaginably hard. Don't ask for reassurance. Just ask someone to listen.

*Talk to professionals. Your doctor will help you find a counselor or therapist to talk with. And know this. Anything you say to the therapist has been said before. Be honest about your anxiety, your obsessions, and your fears. 

*Medication can and does help. With your doctor's help, find the right one with the correct dosage. It might not be the first one you try but keep at it. You will get there!

*Stop Googling. Let me say that again. Stop Googling. Just stop. Stop looking for answers on the internet. 

*Find an app to help. I love the Dare Response! It is the very best thing I have found to help me with my anxiety. Click HERE to go to the website. I use the app every day.

*And finally, keep at it. Show up for yourself every single day. When you start to see a change, keep going. Like brushing your teeth or washing your face, managing your anxiety should be a part of your daily routine.

Thank you for the support you have given me over the years. You have given me the courage to continue talking about my mental health challenges. And I hope I have done the same for you. 

Have a cozy Monday, my friends!

Thanks for visiting!

(Insert cute puppy pics here.)

Billie Jo

*Google for the image.*

OCD Awareness Week 2022

 

Good morning, my friends! This week is International OCD Awareness Week. OCD stands for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. According to The International OCD Foundation, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is a mental health disorder that affects people of all ages and walks of life, and occurs when a person gets caught in a cycle of obsessions and compulsions [1]. Obsessions are unwanted, intrusive thoughts, images, or urges that trigger intensely distressing feelings. Compulsions are behaviors an individual engages in to attempt to get rid of the obsessions and/or decrease distress.

That is what OCD is. What it isn't is funny, quirky, or silly. It isn't being neat, organized, or clean. OCD is not fun. It is horrible. It seeps into every aspect of your life, especially when you let your guard down for even a second. OCD is real. It sucks. But it can be managed. I promise. I have written about my OCD struggle here several times over the years. I am sharing those posts again for anyone interested. The one thing I want anyone reading to know about OCD is this: You are not alone. You are not alone when you are lying in your bed, dreading the day before you because intrusive thoughts are swirling in your brain. You are not alone when you try as hard as you can to resist checking one more time. And when you see others living with what appears to be not a care in the world, and you cannot understand how they are not ruminating on an obsession, you are not alone. 

A PSA About OCD

Health Anxiety Update

OCD Awareness Week 2020

Anxiety and OCD Update

Thank you for supporting me, my friends. Sharing a mental health issue is not easy. Keeping it to yourself is much more difficult. If sharing helps one single person, however, it is worth it. Thank you for supporting me, my friends. Have a cozy day.

Billie Jo

Check It Off

 

Hello, my friends. Today was the day. If you have read here for some time, you are familiar with my OCD and Health Anxiety diagnosis. My annual mammogram is a trigger for my anxiety. It is just what my mind decided to latch onto. This year I handled the anticipation much better than in years past, partly due to the tools my therapist and psychiatrist have given me. Partly because of the medication I take to treat my OCD. And partly because of the love and support from family and friends that helped me look at this annual appointment differently. 

I dread my annual mammogram. Not the test itself, but rather the fear of what the results could be. My friend Danielle helped me to change my thinking about it. Now I try to think of it as maintenance for my body, as something I can do to keep myself healthy. I liken it to my annual physical, dental, or eye doctor appointments. None of which give me anxiety, by the way. I go to it, and I can cross off my list. And so today, I went. Danielle and Steve went with me. It was quick and painless. And the results were good. Thank You, Lord. I made another appointment for next year, said a prayer of thanksgiving, and got some lunch and a coffee.

I am home now, showered, and on the couch. Relieved, thankful, and happy that I did it and didn't let my anxiety stop me. If you have a concern about any medical test, I get you. Try to look at it a different way. You are taking care of yourself. And you will be relieved and glad you did! 

Have a wonderful weekend, my friends!

Thanks for visiting!

Billie Jo

Mental Health Awareness Month Is Here!

 

We interrupt our regularly scheduled blog posts for this Public Service Announcement...May is Mental Health Awareness Month. I would be remiss if I did not use this little old platform I have here to draw awareness to Mental Health and the need to normalize discussions about it. If you have read here for a while, you know I have been very open about my Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and Health Anxiety diagnosis. I first wrote about that in a post right HERE. (Just click on the word HERE, and it will take you there.) 

It took me a long time to feel comfortable discussing my OCD and anxiety with those outside my immediate family. Why? Because I used to care about the stigma attached to any mental health issue. Now, not so much. In fact, I will tell anyone who asks about my struggle with OCD and anxiety, my diagnosis, and my treatment plan, including therapy and medication. I know now that talking about it is helpful to me and anyone else struggling with any mental health issues. Anxiety makes you feel alone, as if no one understands those distressing thoughts running on a constant loop through your mind. 

Therapy has taught me so many things I wish I had known years ago. First of all, never be embarrassed or ashamed to talk about your issues. Everyone has something. Everyone. OCD happens to be mine. Another thing? I have OCD. I am not OCD. My mental health issue is a part of me. It does not define me. Also, medication can be extremely beneficial when used correctly. I am fortunate to have found an excellent psychiatrist who was able to confirm my diagnosis and prescribe the proper medication that is keeping my OCD and anxiety under control. 

I have OCD. I have Health and General Anxiety. I see a therapist and a psychiatrist. I take medication to treat my OCD and anxiety. I pray. I also homeschool my daughter, make healthy meals for my family, decorate my home for every holiday, and watch Match Game every day. I love to read. I love being a mom. And a wife, daughter, sister, and friend. I love writing this blog and reading your blogs. I love scary movies and iced coffee. And afternoon naps.

So there you are, my friends. My little contribution to Mental Health Awareness Month. I hope that it helps at least one person reading to know they are not alone. To give them that last little nudge needed to open up to someone. 

We will resume our regularly scheduled posts about puppies and coffee on Friday. In the meantime, have a cozy Wednesday, my friends. Thank you for reading!

Billie Jo

Not A Resolution~A Goal

 

I didn't make a resolution this year. Instead, I set a goal. I set a goal for myself to do what I can, however insignificant it may be, to help stop the stigma associated with mental illness. I spent many years trying to understand and deal with my OCD and Anxiety on my own. And I did. Until I couldn't. I had to admit that I needed help for something I didn't even know I had. That was over ten years ago, and today, with therapy, medication, and loads of support, I am living this life I love without the constant chatter and obsessions invading my mind. I will always have OCD, but now I have the tools and medication to help me deal with it. 

I feel compelled to share this here because I know some people still feel afraid, unsure, and embarrassed talking about their mental health. That makes me sad. I often say that if I had Diabetes, I wouldn't hesitate to tell people. I wouldn't be afraid to tell people I need medication to keep me healthy. Right? I am committed to being open about my Anxiety and OCD. And that I see a therapist who helps me immensely. I am no longer afraid to tell people I take medication. Recently, more than one person has told me that my openness and honesty have encouraged them to seek help with their own Anxiety through therapy and medication. That makes me so happy because when a person suffers from Anxiety, one of the best feelings in the world is knowing he or she is not alone. 

So there you have it. If you didn't already know, I have OCD. I have Anxiety, mainly about my health. I see a therapist. I take medication. I am not embarrassed. I am thankful. Thankful that I sought help. Thankful help is available. Thankful I realize that OCD is a part of my life. It is not me. Or my entire life. I am a wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend. I love my family, my home, my pups. I read and teach and watch old games shows. I cook and bake and call my mom. I live my life. Anxiety is a small part of that life. I know that now. And let me assure you, if you suffer from Anxiety, Depression, or other mental health issues, you know it now too. 

Happy Wednesday, my friends!

Thanks for visiting and for listening.

Billie Jo

Well, Hello There!

 Hello there, my friends! Before I dive back into sharing all the happenings around here, I want to express my heartfelt appreciation for your kind words, messages, comments, and prayers. I hope that by bringing attention to mental health issues during certain periods of a woman's life, we will all feel more prepared, educated, confident, empathetic, and comforted. And not ashamed to ask for help through therapy and medication if necessary.

Meanwhile, we recently made our annual visit to DelGrosso's Amusement Park and enjoyed a lovely summer day. The park brought back so many memories but also allowed us to make new ones. And did I mention the lemonade????

Steve bought some new toys, and they are a hit. I have yet to enjoy the excitement, but everyone else seems to think they are awesome. I prefer a leisurely swim around the dock with only the clouds and ducks around.

We celebrated some very special birthdays for some very special people recently! First up, Christopher turned 24, and we enjoyed an evening of good food, fun, and delicious cake, made by Peyton, of course!

Kyrstin turned 21 last week, and we celebrated her with family, food, fun, and yet another delicious cake by Peyton. I am so happy that our young people enjoy celebrating with us.

And because the calendar still says August, I am doing my best to embrace the beauty of the season. For much of my family, that means peaches! We have peach shortcake, peach pie, peaches and granola, peaches and yogurt, peaches with cereal. The extent of my peach enjoyment consists of peeling and slicing. I'm more of a pumpkin spice and apple kind of girl. 

Perhaps the happiest summer days are the ones when my mom comes to spend the day with us. She loves the dogs, and playing cards, and just spending time with us. We cherish every single moment.

Finishing up with a rather poor iPhone shot of a majestic Bald Eagle we saw one evening while we were out on the boat. It really was an awesome sight.

So, although my heart is beginning to feel the tug of cozy autumn colors, throws, coffee, pillows, rainy days, and all things pumpkin, I am savoring the beauty of these glorious summer days.

Of course, there is laundry to be done, dust bunnies to sweep, school work to plan, and meals to cook. I am taking it easy and remembering to enjoy the beauty every single day. I am sorry I have not been around to visit. I plan on doing that soon. Have a cozy evening, my friends. Lemon garlic baked fish and Bachelorette finale here!

Billie Jo

Thank You Thoughts

 Hello, my friends. I am so very thankful to all of you for your comments and prayers and thoughts and validation. I hope you know I read, and reread them all. I also felt the love of this wonderful space and was comforted by you all. I have visited the doctor and readjusted my medication, spent time in prayer, and even went for a swim in the lake! Exercise is good for anxiety, they tell me. Figures! In any case, I am feeling more like myself, and hope to be back to our regular programming soon. 

Have a cozy Wednesday, my friends!

Thank you again!

Billie Jo

Sunday Evening Tea

 

Hello, my friends. Sorry about the radio silence last week. To be honest, I did not plan to be gone for so long. If you have read here for some time, you are familiar with my OCD and Health Anxiety battle. I had a setback last week, and honestly, it is hard. Although I have a wonderful support system and excellent tools, if I don't practice when things are going well, I am not prepared when anxiety decides to remind me it is ready and waiting. 

Last week, I experienced a bout of OCD and anxiety and am still working through it. I could say I have no idea why, but I can see how a perfect storm was forming if I think about it. I am adjusting to a new phase in life, that of a mother to older children. Many days I am home alone, and I am missing those days with little ones. My dear mother is doing well, yet I am struggling to accept the fact that she is aging and progressing in her Alzheimers journey. I am also in that phase of life where we women hold on for dear life and try to make our way through the highs and lows of menopause. 

In any case, I suddenly felt all those anxious feelings, heard all the irrational thoughts that OCD throws at me, and I worked through it as best I could. I felt tired, worried, sad, and unsure. I wasn't hungry. And I slept too much. And it sucked. It literally does. I know what is happening; I wish with all my heart it would stop, but I am unable to shake it off. That is anxiety for me. I am learning to ride the wave rather than try to stop it. I am learning to live with uncertainty and am refusing to engage with my irrational thoughts. I am a work in progress, folks.

As I said before, I debated whether or not to share this here, but if I can let one other person know that they are not alone, I am happy to be vulnerable. This is life. It isn't all puppies and coffee cups. Sometimes it is setbacks and tears. And naps. Thanks for listening, my friends. 

Have a cozy week!

Billie Jo

Anxiety And OCD Update

 

It's OCD Awareness Week!