Looking Around My Kitchen On A Rainy Morning

Good morning, my friends! It is a rainy Wednesday morning here in Pennsylvania, and I just finished loading the dishwasher and making my coffee. I took a few quick pictures of the state of my kitchen this random June morning to share with you today.

 

A cake stand with crumbs from a delicious loaf of pumpkin bread...

This cushiony mat that keeps my feet from hurting...

The griddle that I keep forgetting to put away but we use every day anyway...

The folded dishtowel by the sink stained with strawberry juice...

My current read that I brought down this morning...

The electric teakettle I cannot live without...

And fresh vegetables waiting to be seasoned and baked.

Kitchens are the heart of a home, don't you think?

Have a cozy afternoon!

Thanks for visiting!

Billie Jo

No Rush Here

Good morning, my friends! Thank you for the get-well wishes, and I must tell you, they appear to be helping. I was thinking today that this chest cold has really helped me keep things in perspective. It is no secret that I am organized and work best on a schedule. The past few days have reminded me that we can plan all we want and schedule to our heart's content, but life may have other plans. And that is ok! Let's take a look at what I had planned for this week, shall we?

1. Decorate for Easter

2. Update my planner

3. Write out Easter cards

4. Attend Adoration at church

5. Take Flynn to the orthodontist

6. Attend the penance service at church

7. Go to my eye doctor's appointment

8. Keep the laundry up

9. Organize lesson plans for make-up work

Here is what I have actually done so far this week.

1. Drank so much water

2. Acquired a taste for bone broth

3. Tried unsuccessfully not to laugh with Rhett because it led to coughing, and coughing hurts too much

4. Became way too invested in the Gwyneth Paltrow ski collision trial on tv

5. Slept for three days in an unmade bed with rumpled sheets

6. Called and rescheduled the above appointments

7. Realized how blessed I really am

I used to have a much harder time with these changes in our routines. I couldn't wait to throw open the windows and Lysol the sheets and get things "Back to Normal." Getting older has made me realize that these sick days of crumpled tissues, dirty dishes, and cups with straws scattered everywhere are our normal too. There is no rush. And that my list of things will always be there for me when I'm ready. But for now, I have to run. The trial is just about to start for the day, and I really need to see what will happen!

Stay hydrated and healthy, my friends!

Have a cozy day!

Billie Jo

Keeping It Real

Keeping It Real: I Love The Bachelor!

Health Anxiety Update

 I first wrote about my struggle with Health Anxiety and OCD in a blog post back HERE. I want to revisit it today for a few different reasons. First of all, I never want to imply here that my life is perfect or without struggles. I visit blogs to feel empathy and friendship, and I hope that those who read here leave finding the same. I never want anyone to read this little blog and think that I have it all together because Heaven knows, I don't! As a super special person once told me, "Everyone has their own sh**!" Also, I feel very strongly that if sharing my story here can help one person struggling with this or any similar issue, I owe it to that person and to myself to do that. Mental Health concerns should no longer be considered taboo or embarrassing. Nor should they be thought of as a joke, weakness, or character flaw.

Keepin' It Real

Just last week I was thinking that I hope I never portray an erroneous image here on this little blog. This space serves as an online journal and scrapbook of sorts. In addition, I am hopeful that in some small way I am able to inspire or at least encourage anyone reading as well. One thing I hope I never do is to portray a life that is perfect. So in an effort to keep things real around here, I am posting some photos of the current state of my home. Because. Real life. 

I started putting my Christmas decorations away. 

And then I quit.

Because It's Monday

And we all need a smile to start off a great week.

Yep...

Again, yep...

All the time...

Everyday...

And proud of it...

Yep...

Every single time...

Me. At McDonalds. And Wendys.

And Taco Bell...

Can you relate???

Happy Monday!

Just Do You

Steve and I were enjoying our morning time together one day last week. We were in our usual spot on the couch, Steve with his tea, and me with my coffee. We were watching our favorite morning show, Match Game '74 ...Yes, really... and a commercial came on for some sort of treadmill or incline trainer. A young woman, with flawless makeup and a great big smile, was throughly enjoying her morning workout, which consisted of casually running on a treadmill with an incline nearly perpendicular to the floor.

Even when I was young, I didn't enjoy mornings on a treadmill. Especially dressed as a model complete with a perfect ponytail. I didn't enjoy Zumba, or Aerobics, or even walking for an extended period of time. Some people do. Me? Not so much. And I used to feel badly about that. I felt I was supposed to want to exercise everyday...to enjoy brisk walks in the morning, and dressing up for exercise class at night.

Another thing about me? I am a homebody. I have always been happiest and most comfortable within the walls of my home. I never feel the desire to get dressed up on the weekends and go out to dinner or to a bar or a party. I feel much more happy being in my jammies, pouring a cup of coffee and hitting the couch for the evening. That is just me. It is who I am. I used to feel weird about that. I used to feel that I shouldn't be happy at home with Lifetime movies and a good book. I should be like everyone else, right?

And then there is the sun. I have always avoided the sun. I just do not enjoy being in the hot sun. I don't like to sit in the sun, or lay out in the sun. I just don't like it. And that is something I have felt weird about my entire life. I like to go outside in the early morning or late afternoon. I enjoy being at the beach when everyone else is leaving. It is just me.

This of course brings me to one last thing. I have never tanned. My skin is as white in August as it is in December. I am pale, and I always have been. It doesn't bother me. But it seems to bother other people! It used to bother me when people constantly commented on my lack of a tan. It used to make me feel embarrassed to wear sleeveless shirts in the summer because I knew someone would comment on my pale skin. Again. It is just who I am.

I do not judge other people's choices. I learned a long time ago that what other people do and enjoy  is not my concern. Simply because I don't enjoy exercising, socializing, or tanning does not mean I think those things are wrong. Or weird. Not in the least. Some people enjoy exercise. That is great, really. Some people like to go out. I think that is awesome. And some people love the sun. They enjoy getting a tan every summer. Again. That's great, really!

While I feel that all of these things are great for people who enjoy them, I have only recently felt comfortable admitting that I don't. I haven't always been able to own the fact that I may be different, even considered strange by some. Today, I am comfortable in who I am. And in what I like. And I can only hope other people will be the same. But if not, that is ok. Really. Because at 48 years old, I am who I am. And I am proud to be me.

I wish I could tell my younger self not to worry so much about what other people think.  I wish I could tell her to own who you are. Embrace the quirks that make you...you. Be yourself and respect the fact that others may not agree with what you do. I would tell her the best feeling in the world is being comfortable with yourself and who you are. I would tell her...Just do you.

A PSA About OCD

While I am late to the party, I still wanted to draw attention to the fact that this week, October 8-14, 2017, is International OCD Awareness Week. OCD, or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, is a mental health disorder that affects many people. According to the International OCD Foundation, OCD

"occurs when a person gets caught in a cycle of obsessions and compulsions. Obsessions are unwanted, intrusive thoughts, images or urges that trigger intensely distressing feelings. Compulsions are behaviors an individual engages in to attempt to get rid of the obsessions and/or decrease his or her distress."

They go on to give an example on how it feels to have OCD. 

Imagine that your mind got stuck on a certain thought or image…

Then this thought or image got replayed in your mind

over and

over again

no matter what you did…

You don’t want these thoughts — it feels like an avalanche…

Along with the thoughts come intense feelings of anxiety…

Anxiety is your brain’s alarm system.  When you feel anxious, it feels like you are in danger.  Anxiety is an emotion that tells you to respond, react, protect yourself, DO SOMETHING!

On the one hand, you might recognize that the fear doesn’t make sense, doesn’t seem reasonable, yet it still feels very real, intense, and true…

Why would your brain lie?

Why would you have these feelings if they weren’t true? Feelings don’t lie…  Do they?

Unfortunately, if you have OCD, they do lie.  If you have OCD, the warning system in your brain is not working correctly.  Your brain is telling you that you are in danger when you are not.

When scientists compare pictures of the brains of groups of people with OCD, they can see that some areas of the brain are different than the brains of people who don’t have OCD.

Those tortured with OCD are desperately trying to get away from paralyzing, unending anxiety…

How do I know so much about this subject? Well, a few years ago I was diagnosed with OCD. Although I often felt I had tendencies toward OCD behavior, I was able to manage them on my own for most of my adult life. Once I hit forty years of age, however, I became overwhelmed with my obsessions. My obsessions manifested themselves in the form of intrusive thoughts, mainly regarding my health. I became unable to distinguish fact from fiction, reality from delusion. I spent hours fixated on my upcoming mammogram, obsessed over a freckle I was certain was changing into a mole, or bumps on the back of my head. I could be fine for days, and then suddenly, I would be paralyzed with fear because I saw an article on Facebook about a woman with a horrible disease. My OCD would then cause me to fixate on the symptoms, which I of course researched on Dr. Google...DO NOT DO THAT...and my mind would be filled with scenarios of my death.

Although the term OCD is thrown around quite randomly, it is a real disorder, and those suffering from it, in my experience, are initially reluctant to shout it from the rooftops. It is more than being neat, or disliking germs. It isn't a status symbol or worse yet, a joke. It is a serious mental health issue, and left untreated, will consume one's life and render him or her unable to function on certain days due to endless anxiety ridden moments.

I am beyond blessed that my husband Steve recognized my need for help when the time came. He literally put me in the car and took me to an amazingly empathetic doctor. But even more, I was blessed to have the most kind, respectful, and considerate nurse who immediately put me at ease. I felt able to open up and pour out all the thoughts I have carried inside my head for so many years without feeling judged, or worse yet, labeled. When I left, my nurse April hugged me. I knew then that I was going to be ok. And thus began my way back from the depths of OCD. 

My new doctor is amazing. She will literally sit with me and go over each of my concerns. She checks to make sure my issues are not real medical concerns.Then she reminds me that I will deal with this forever, but I have tools to help me now. She and my new gynecologist and nurse April reassure me as well. They listen to me. They don't label me. I am comfortable with them and I feel so relieved.

How else am I handling this part of my life? Well, I do take medication. And I am ok with that. I understand the medicine does not change who I am...it doesn't change ME. The medicine helps the part of my brain that needs it to function properly, so I can be the healthiest me I can be.

I also have an amazing therapist I visit when I need to be reassured. She has given me tools to use when I have a slip up. Perhaps one of the best? OCD does not define me. I am NOT OCD. I HAVE OCD. It is a small part of me. And through medicine, therapy, mindfulness meditation, support and love from my family and friends...yes, you, Marian, Heather and April...I am now able to say that yes...I have this thing I deal with. It is OCD. It is a pain. I think of it as my cross. I think everyone has something. And this is mine. 

So there you are. Something about me you didn't know. But something I am not ashamed of.  Something I share to encourage even that one reader who may be helped by my story. My advice to anyone suffering from this mental health issue...

1.  Admit it. To yourself.

2.  Confide in a loved one.

3.  Seek help from a doctor or nurse professional.

4.  Follow the plan he or she sets out for you.

5.  Continue your plan, even when your symptoms cease.

6.  DO NOT GOOGLE.

7.  Ever.

8.  Have faith and pride and love in and for yourself.

9.  Lean on your family and friends when necessary. 

10.Ditch the fear of judgement.

11. Anyone who makes fun of or judges you is not worth your time.

12. Pray. If that is your thing. 

13. Live your life. OCD doesn't define you.

Thanks for visiting, my friends.

I am always glad you do. 

Did You Know...

Surprise, right?

Enough said.

I do love to do laundry.

But I would rather let a basket sit for days before putting it away!

All. The. Time

Ask my kids.

It's true.

And even then, I get it half right.

And then there is this.

I love this show.

Have you seen it?

It is older, but the funniest show ever on Nick.

Madison watched it years ago.

We still love it.

Here's why...

See?

We watch it on Amazon. But it is also available on Hulu.

Ok. That's all for today!

Thanks for hanging in there.

Well...alright.

One more.

Last one,

Promise!!!!!

Have a great day, friends!

Shout out to Pinterest for the fun.

Believe It Or Not

Every so often I like to lighten things up around here just to keep things interesting. Today I bring you a few things about me that you may not already know. In an effort to keep things real, I give you this list of absolutely true things about me. Believe it or not. : )

I have not parallel parked a car in over thirty years.

Seriously. In fact, the last time I did, I was taking my driving test.

I literally will drive around forever until I see at least two spots open up.

I have never drank a bottle of beer...

Or a glass of wine.

I am not opposed to drinking at all.

I have no problem with anyone who does enjoy drinking.

I simply do not like the taste. 

This is my go to drink of choice.

Seriously. : )

I was on the golf team in high school.

Yes. Really!

And the basketball team too.

Until I gave up my athletic career to twirl a baton. : )

I do really like to ice skate.

And I am actually good at it.

At least I was, the last time I checked.

Speaking of snow and ice,

I used to have my own snowmobile.

Steve and I used to go sledding every chance we got.

We would ride trails and end up at the really old restaurant.

Can't believe it?

Me either.

As I have mentioned here before, I do have a form of Anxiety...

Health Anxiety.

It is a very difficult and serious condition that I manage with a combination of medication, mindfulness meditation, prayer, and loving support from my family and my doctors.

It also helps to laugh about it a little. : )

I have never seen this movie.

Never one moment of it.

Despite my love of all things Christmas, I really don't think I want to.

Go figure.

Now this one...

I have watched this movie an estimated one hundred times.

And  I still love it.

Again. Go figure.

Alright.

There you are.

Just a few things you now know about me.

Whether you wanted to or not. : )

Feel free to share some about yourselves, my friends!

I'll be waiting.