September 12, 2016

Perspective And Peace

A few weeks ago, during Mass, I glanced down at my hands. I noticed the beautiful manicure I received  while in Las Vegas was chipping. No worries. I had bought the same shade at the spa, so all I had to do was redo my nails, right? Who was I kidding? I was never going to do that! And even if I did, it would never last. I am forever washing dishes, folding laundry, wiping floors, and completing numerous other tasks that are not conducive to finely manicured hands. And as I sat there surrounded by my loving husband and children, it hit me. It's all right. I may not have perfectly manicured hands again for a very long time. But guess what?

I get to do dishes for a family that I love. I am privileged to have a washer and dryer to clean our clothes. I even have electricity to run those machines! I am blessed to have children that make my floors dirty enough to wipe. I realized yet again how blessed I am, and that perspective is everything. I got to thinking about other aspects of my life that I sometimes struggle with, and how looking at each of them in a different light brings me perspective. And peace.

I will never be a size four again. My entire youth and early adulthood I was tiny. Really tiny. Now, not so much. But I am comforted by the fact that this body nurtured and brought  four beautiful, blessed babies into this world. And every single way it is different now is more than worth it. And so now, a few pounds heavier, I am thankful for where I am with this body of mine. I eat what I want. In moderation, of course. Now I have to think about cholesterol! But I don't sweat the desserts I so enjoy. :)

I will most likely never push a baby of mine in a stroller. Or open the  nursery door to see my baby peeking out from the crib with that "just woke up" smile. I won't buy diapers or wipes or Gerber Rice cereal. I won't have that baby to sit with me while everyone else rides the big rides at the park. I am almost forty-seven years old, and my baby days are more than likely behind me. But. I had baby days! I was blessed to bring four new souls home from the hospital. I am honored to be a part of their lives and watch as each baby grows and changes into the individual God created each to be. And so I embrace each new stage, with excitement and wonder, mixed with a twinge of sadness. I am, after all, a mother.

I will never hold my Dad's hand again. I will never hear his voice on the other end of the phone. I won't see that smile or hear that laugh, or see those eyes light up ever again. I won't hear him call me his "Little Buddy" or invite him up for Chicken Cacciatore ever again. I won't smell his baby powder or bring him coffee and donuts. I won't ever see him sitting on my couch holding my mother's hand. This is a tough one. I will always struggle with it. But I force myself to look at it this way: Dad is in Heaven. His reward is being realized. He is happier, healthier, and holier than he ever was here. And as much as I miss him every single day, I am comforted by that fact. And by the fact that he lives on in things he taught me, the love he shared, and in my son, who resembles him more and more each day. And of course, I will see him again one day. That fact gives me peace.

I won't have pretty nails for awhile. I'll never wear a size four, or let's be honest, a size six again. I most likely will not need a stroller the next time we visit Disneyworld. And I will never hug my father here again. But you know what? If I look at it in the right way, as hard as it may seem, it really is all right. I just have to remind myself sometimes. And that brings me peace.

(Thanks Pinterest, for the quotes.)


  1. So beautiful and absolutely from the heart my dear sweet Friend. I cannot say enough how much I love this. And even though I'm only a few years behind you...I feel so much in the same place about so many of the same things. You're not alone in any of it.
    Thanks for voicing them perfectly and touching my heart.

  2. Beautiful, wise words, Billie Jo! It really IS all in our perspective, isn't it?

    I was just saying to my husband yesterday that much as I lament the fact that my marketable job skills are outdated (I left my administrative job in 1990), I am thankful that they are outdated because I was home with my kids all those years. I am no longer a bank executive because I made the choice to stay home with my kids and to homeschool them. When I remember the beauty of that, I am no longer grieved by the fact that I didn't keep my job skills up.

    Blessings and hugs,

  3. You have such a beautiful soul! I love how you view your family. Your blog is a blessing.

  4. Hi Billie Jo~

    What a beautiful post! Thank you for bringing this crazy, hurried life we all live into perspective. Every word was something that I needed to hear today...your words were an answer to my prayers. You are such a blessing to so many people...xoxo!


  5. You are such a beautiful person. I love everything you brought perspective to. And my nails are chipped right now too.

  6. Dear Billie Jo ~ what a great post! A moment of review and gratitude that so encapsulates the bittersweetness of life and love! God bless ~

  7. Beautiful Billie Jo -- thanks for sharing!

  8. Such a beautiful post giving me inner strength that is really needed right now, many thanks.

  9. You know I'm with you on that finding inner peace :) My days are so much worse off when I don't force myself to get up early, make a cup of coffee, and say the Rosary while everyone else is in bed. Hugs :)

  10. I love this post!! It truly is vital for us to have an attiude of gratitude and keep our perspective in tact. You have a beautiful family and that is a HUGE blessing from God! I understand about missing your dad. When our parents are gone, it leaves such a void in our lives. Missing Abby has forever changed me. I know she's in Heaven...and most likely she's running a portion of it in her own way. Lol!

    Thank you again for sharing!!

  11. Beautiful post. Thank you for sharing from your heart! Many blessings. <3

  12. Yes - that whole body image thing has been a tough one for me to come to terms with lately. I'm not quite there, but getting closer. I figure, after all, what teenage girl wants a mom who can share clothes? ;-)
    All good things to think about - thanks for sharing!

  13. Such a beautiful post! Putting it all into perspective and being grateful for everyday. I have to remind myself of this often and I always feel a sense of peace come over me when I do. ♥♥♥ Thanks for sharing! xo

  14. Such a beautiful, perfectly timed post! So grateful to have read this today!


Thanks so much for saying hello!

Billie Jo