Tuesday, January 28, 2014

From My Heart...For My Dad

Joy and anticipation fill my soul as I reach out to him...

This fragile being before me.

Eyes filled with wonder search my face

And then light up as he finds me among all those intertwined faces in his mind.

I take a tissue and wipe the tears that fall from his eyes

And I lay my palm aside his head.

Thoughts of life and love and dreams and laughter

Of  tears and memories and joy and sorrow

All the life a soul will live...

I look with so much love at this small, fragile person before me...

And I whisper, " I love you, Dad."

These simple words will never be enough to convey the love I feel for my father. Or the sadness that fills my soul as the heartless disease of Dementia takes him farther and farther away. These words come from my heart, and despite my best intentions, fail to convey the anguish that his loved ones feel as he slips away into the past. He is peaceful now, and for that I am thankful. But I miss him. I miss talking to him. I miss seeing him walk through the door. I miss the man that he was. And I embrace the man he continues to be...my dad.














22 comments:

  1. So beautiful. Dementia is a horrible thing. It's so painful to see your loved one sitting in front of you but not being able to communicate with them. Prayers for you and him.

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  2. What a beautiful post. My mil has dementia along with a mental illness..it is just hard on all of us. Prayers..

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  3. A beautiful tribute to your precious Dad. Anyone that has ever dealt with dementia knows how terrible it is to steal a loved one. My prayers for him to be at peace.

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  4. He is such a handsome guy! and so loved.
    You are blessed to have a good daddy.
    Prayers and hugs to you. This must be so hard.

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  5. I have tears for you, Billie Jo. Thanks for sharing your heart with us, although i am sure it is only a fraction of what you're feeling. It must be so hard. I am sorry you and your family are dealing with this. I will pray for continued peace for your Dad and for your whole family at this time. Catch a hug.

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  6. Beautiful words...reminds me so much of my grandmother. Praying for you and your sweet father.

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  7. It truly is a horrible disease. Your father, you and your family are always in my prayers. Continue to cherish every moment, even when he does not seem to be aware. One day he won't be here and you will long for these visits, no matter how hard they can be.

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  8. My heart aches for you as I read this post. I lost my mom three years before she actually passed away. I was blessed enough to work in the LTC that was her home for two years. I say "home," but it was never home. However, she accepted it. Probably because she had lost so much of who she was, but this was her desire. She always said she didn't want us to take care of her. However we did as long as we could. When she realized she was getting forgetful, she said, "Now, I'm telling you know, put me in the NH." She had been through this with her mom and knew the toil it had taken on their family even with 8 siblings. This post is beautiful. As much as it hurts, it's good to express those feelings. Hugs to you!

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  9. Oh Billie Jo... my heart aches for you. How blessed you are to have a wonderful Dad that you adore. I can't imagine the hurt that happens when he's just not the same. I pray for you daily friend. That this time you have with your Dad is a most special one. That God will grant you the grace and peace during this time too. Blessings to you, tara xoxoxoxo

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  10. This is so sad Billie Jo, I can't imagine how horrible this would be. Sometimes life can be so cruel and so hard to understand. My heart aches for you and your family and what you must be dealing with.

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  11. Oh, I cried through this whole thing. My heart also aches for you. The mourning you must go through. You and your whole family are in my continued prayers.

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  12. My sweet Billie Jo, you brought tears to my eyes as I read this heart-felt post. I cannot imagine how difficult it would be to watch a loved one go through something like this. You, your dad, and your family are in my prayers. Much love to you!

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  13. I have a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes as I type this…I really don't have the right words…just, I Love You dear Friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  14. Dear Billie Jo, Like many of your comments above who know someone affected by dementia, my mom suffered for the 6 mos. prior to her passing 5 years ago. I will keep you and your dad in my prayers. I know what a difficult and heartbreaking time this is. I'm thankful that God led us to one another through blogging. You are in my heart. Mildred

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  15. oh sweet sweet friend!
    i can feel your raw emotion and hurt here.
    prayers for you and your family
    and hugs for you!!

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  16. Dear Billie Jo ... just want you to know that you and your family are in my thoughts and in my prayers! Love & Hugs ♥ Teri

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  17. Sweet Billie Jo, just reading this today. So beautiful. And so sad. My heart aches for yours and the love of a daughter for her father. Continue to take snapshots on your heart of the good days and cherish those long past memories even closer than before. Hugs and prayers to you and your family.

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  18. Oh, Billie Jo. Know that you and your dad are in my thoughts & prayers. Your love for him is beautiful. Love seeing those pictures of you with him...cherished moments, I can see. Sending hugs...

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  19. Oh wow, I'm grateful that you shared this with all of us and can't imagine the immense pain it has caused you to see your dad go through this.
    What a beautiful love letter to him.
    Lots of prayers for you and your fam!

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Billie Jo