Has this ever been more true?? Happy Monday, my friends! Please enjoy these weekend photos while I pour myself a second cup.
We went to dinner with Peyton and Christopher Saturday evening to celebrate his birthday. We had a nice dinner, and he enjoyed his lobster stuffed fillet! We ran into my bestie Heather there, which is always a good time! Afterward, we went to get ice cream at the cutest little spot around.
We spent the day yesterday with my beautiful momma. We sat outside and watched the cars go by, then went inside to play a card game that she and Margie like: Red Light, Green Light, 123. It is fun, and Mom really enjoys it! I am smiling in this photo, but honestly, I was struggling inside. I never want to imply that everything is always great, happy, and perfect. We all have difficult, crappy times that we keep to ourselves. And that is totally ok. I am sharing this today because I know others are dealing with this horrible disease, and I want you to know you are not alone. Yesterday was the first time I felt that my sweet momma didn't know me. And it was hard. I know in my brain that Alzheimer's Disease takes our loved ones away from us first, but my heart isn't ready quite yet. I know that the next time, she may very well know me, and I am comforted by that. But as my Madison gently reminded me, as hard as this is for me, it may be easier on my mom if she doesn't have to miss us when we aren't there. I cried when we left because I love that woman so much, and I miss her already. When we got home, I washed my face, put on my cozy clothes, and went to bed. Steve woke me up at nine o'clock! I had a comfort food dinner of leftover egg noodles, we watched an episode of Gilmore Girls, and I went back to bed. Today, I woke up with a sense of peace and a confirmation that crawling into bed and covering up your head is good for the soul once in a while!
And the moon on the lake last night was simply beautiful.
Have a wonderful day, my friends.
I am doing ordinary things today, like laundry, dishes, and tidying up.
Peyton and Chris are coming for dinner and a boat ride, too.
Today is a good day.
Enjoy!
Billie Jo
Your words hit home this morning, Billie Jo. I so remember taking care of my mom when she got sick, and made sure she was comfortable and well fed and loved, and then when it was time to go home, I remember already missing her when I was driving home. All of us siblings and my aunt were there looking after her, but it was such a difficult time knowing that her health was declining. Hang in there, my friend, and know that the love you are giving her means the world. A cute picture of you and your friend, and isn't that something you ran into her at the restaurant? I love Steve's green shirt. I just bought a shirt in the exact same color. And Yes, an episode of Gilmore Girls is lighthearted and always brings a little sunshine just when we need it. : )
ReplyDeleteHave a lovely week, lovely You!
~Sheri
Dearest Billie Jo,
ReplyDeleteSuch an emotional post and yes, you worded it right. Losing your dear loved one first to this dreaded disease is the hardest thing to live through!
Never had a family member living through this but we drove to Delaware to visit friends and I cooked their Thanksgiving meal. So sad to witness all those changes... It is heart breaking and perfectly right to get 'uncercover' and sleep. Feel warmly embraced!
Hugs,
Mariette
A dear one in our family has been diagnosed with this disease, and I wonder what the future will bring. It is already such a change for our lives. Praying for you, Billie Jo. Take good care of yourself!
ReplyDeleteI love your pretty blue print blouse and your cute dimples! I am so sorry you are going thru this. I also did many years ago. And I am so glad that you are taking care of yourself to remain strong!! Blessings to you, my friend!
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to see you all smiling. I sympathize with the unpleasant experience with Mr. Alzhaimer. A lot of good for you. Billie Jo's hugs.
ReplyDeleteOh my heart hurts for you. That’s tough. I’ve been working with people with dementia for over 25 years. Once I heard a patient tell her daughter, “I don’t know who you are but I know you belong to me.” They may lose the words but they don’t lose the love.
ReplyDeleteGood morning friend. Thank you for sharing. you are so right in saying that we all have these kind of down days in our lives. My dad had this disease and he was the most pleasant person ever. I visited with a counselor during this time that gave me such good advice. She told me that as bad as it might hurt, to never try to correct what my dad was saying. To give him the joy of his conversation with me. Our loved ones know emotions and a big hug is more important than my dad remembering my name or who I was. I have you in my prayer box, because we all need to be lifted up during these hard days. Your weekend photos speaks of your family love. Hope this day is a good one for you.
ReplyDeleteI've never heard of that game but I will check it out. I am so sad that you have to go through this part. It's just terrible. My grandma has dementia, and it's just heartbreaking. I am praying for you friend! I am glad you could celebrate Christopher well.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you had fun with the kids and a lovely dinner.
ReplyDeleteAlzheimers is a terrible disease and I do believe it's harder on the family than the patient. When I worked with older people, I always felt that for the most part, those with dementia were happier than those who were still cognitive but physically unable to do things. So I think Madison is right, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt! Hugs, my friend!
Awww Billie Jo I wish I could give you a hug right now. As you know my mother has Alzheimer's and it's so difficult watching the woman who brought me into the world slowly lose herself. It's such a cruel disease and I'm trying to understand it. I think I've gone through The Gilmore Girls several times. What season are you on? That show is comforting. And your lake pictures are always so breathtaking.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your words:
ReplyDelete"We all have difficult, crappy times that we keep to ourselves. And that is totally ok."
" .....crawling into bed and covering up your head is good for the soul once in a while!"
Such true words for all of us at times. Your honesty is appreciated. May the Lord give you the peace you need during this tough time.
Hi Billie Jo! Thanks for your honesty about what is going on with your mom and how difficult it is. You are right - we all face tough things and do our best to handle things to the best of our abilities. You are a wonderful, kind and caring daughter to your mother and she is so blessed to have you in her life. I am glad that you were kind to and patient with yourself on a challenging day. I hope this week is a good one for you. See you again soon!
ReplyDeleteHi Billie Jo! I'm so sorry you had a rough day yesterday. I've had those, too. I know how tough it can be to watch your parents and grandparents health decline. I just want you to know that I'm praying for you and thinking of you. Take good care of yourself. I'm praying God gives you comfort, peace, and strength during these difficult times. Please know I'm only a text or phone call away anytime you need to talk - I'm here. I hope you are having a better day today, dear friend.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for what you are going through. Before she passed away I was mom's daughter, her mother, and my aunt. It was hard to bear. I will continue to keep you in my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteI know that feeling you had with your mom as I felt the same with my beloved grandmother. The long goodbye is so hard!
ReplyDeleteI'm holding you in the biggest hug and prayers dearest Billie Jo! ❌⭕️🙏🏻. We do need those moments to just feel it, as it's part of the grief process. But it doesn't make it suck any less. Alzheimers just sucks! Plain and simple. It's so unfair to grieve someone still living and I know that pain all too well and hate it for you. I have tears running down my face because it makes me remember so vividly how very hard it was. But you have the best attitude. You gave yourself the time you needed...but then got back up to focus on and enjoy the blessings all around you. And quite honestly, besides leaving it all in the Lord's merciful & loving hands, that's all we can do. Love ya Lady. xoxo
ReplyDeleteDear dear Billie Jo, I'm glad you were able to celebrate Christopher's birthday with him and Peyton. My heart goes out to you where your mom is concerned. I understand how it hurts... and I am praying. xx
ReplyDeleteMy mom suffered with that also. She died coming up 8 years ago next month.
ReplyDeleteThat must be so hard with your mom. I had a dear friend who had Alzheimers, but thankfully neither of my parents had it. My heart breaks for you. I've never heard of Red Light, Green Light One Two Three. I'll have to check it out for our next family game night. I love those pictures of the moon over the lake. They're beautiful!
ReplyDeleteI loved seeing all the photos today and I'm sending a big hug to you! xo
ReplyDeleteOut My Windows Sister here... Oh Billie Jo, My heart is with you. Sissy and I went through this with our Mother and it was so hard. But we loved till the end, and still love! God Bless you!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed seeing your joy and the fun your family had in the first part of your post and the last part made me cry. As you know, we're living this right now too. Mom still knows who we are and our vacation was wonderful and terrible both. Every night like clockwork Mom called us when she got to her room after dinner. She demanded to know where she was. Why we stuck her away in that "place." (She loves where she lives.) We actually abandoned our plans to go to the coast and came home a week earlier than planned because she wasn't doing well with us gone. All of our retirement plans have been put on hold, and we wonder if we'll ever be able to do what we've talked about for over 40 years. Then we feel guilty for even thinking that way. It's getting harder and harder to be away from home and I am sometimes angry and then embarrassed for wanting to travel to see our grandkids and our sons and their wives. Thank you for letting us see this side of you so we know we're not alone. Sometimes caregiving can seem so lonely when you're living it.
ReplyDeleteBlessings and hugs,
Betsy
Madison is very wise, and clearly her mother's daughter.
ReplyDeleteSending love, Billie Jo. Xx
Life is so full of the tough mixed with the beautiful, isn't it? Your sweet mom is aging, while you have a family full of beautiful kids growing into their lives. At our age, we get caught right in the middle and it's bittersweet. I'm glad you got some rest and were able to wake up with a sense of peace. Hugs to you, my friend :)
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you have the opportunity to take care of yourself on the hard days. Sometimes crawling into bed for a nap is just what you need. I am especially happy to hear you woke up Monday feeling better. ((HUGS)) and prayers that things are going well today too!
ReplyDeleteAlways love to catch up on your posts :) PJ Days can be very soothing to the soul. I am so sorry about your dear momma. It is a very cruel disease and I pray all the time for a cure. Life is a rollercoaster of emotions, that’s for sure. Taking care of others is important I know, but it is also important to take care of ourselves so that we can take care of others when needed. So I wish for you more of those PJ days. They are well deserved. Sending hugs my friend with the hope that it will be an excellent week for you.
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