Thursday, May 14, 2015

Thursday Thoughts

Today I'm thinking about...


...my father. And how much I miss him. It has been over a year since his passing...and I am still coming to terms with the fact that he is gone. Intellectually, I understand it. I know that he is gone. But in my daily life, I still find myself thinking about what he may be doing or that I haven't talked to him lately. It is almost like a dream. For a brief nanosecond, I forget. Then...immediately...like a punch to my stomach...I remember.

Sometimes when I am cleaning up the dinner dishes, I actually think about fixing a dish for him because I know he likes certain things I make like pasta or even hotdogs. And then...I remember. Death is new to me. For that...I am blessed...I know. The finality of it. The vast, hollow, unexplainable feeling that you will never see or touch or hear your loved one again...that is pain. Pain that I had never felt before.

I realize I am blessed in the fact that before my father passed...(I still cannot bring myself to use the word "died")...My life centered on birth and life. Now...I am aware that doesn't last forever. The people that have known you longer than you knew yourself...your parents and grandparents...won't always be in your life. They will go. And you will be left to life without them. And that is excruciatingly hard.

I realize I will miss my father until the day I die. Until the day I see him again. In the meantime, I remind myself that the best way I can honor him is to live a life he would be proud of. To be the best wife and mother and daughter and sister and friend I can be. And it helps that I see him in my own son more and more each day. God is good, you know. I believe he knew long before I was born that I would miss my father fiercely after he passed. And so He arranged to send me my son. A living, breathing brand new soul who looks and acts so much like his grandfather...a gift to me. It's the circle of life, I suppose. And again I realize that I am blessed. : )


Here is a peek at our life this past week in our country home...


My dad...


and my son, who reminds me of his grandfather every single day. : )


The trees in our backyard...when the wind blows and the leaves rustle...my Flynn always says that it is Grandpa coming to visit. And then she says, "Hello, Grandpa!"


On a yummy note...this was Mother's Day dessert this year. And it was as good as it looks!
Thank you Peyton and Flynn!


We are enjoying mornings on the porch now...


and I am drinking coffee from my brand new mug...a gift from my Madison. : )


My girl and her dog. : )


And again with her baby. Baby Cute to be exact. : )


Quick homeschool lunch...French Toast. My fave.


And jump roping in a tutu. Princess style. : )


Part of my Rhett's birthday present this year...tickets to see Ed Sheeran in concert! And he took his older sisters along. : ) Any guess where my Madison was? If you guessed running late...you'd be right!


Ahhhh! Here we go! They sent me one from the concert...they had a wonderful time! Shoutout to my hubby for always being the fun one and doing the concert stuff! Flynn and I stayed home and had an indoor picnic in front of the television. Much more my speed. ; )


Have a wonderful weekend, friends.
Thanks for visiting!

22 comments:

  1. So many beautiful photos! And beautiful reflections on your dad. I'm sorry for your loss.
    I can't believe how much Rhett looks like your dad.
    Have a great weekend!

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  2. It is hard knowing that your Dad is gone from this earth, but the blessing is that you will be reunited again in Heaven. I never realized how much Rhett and Peyton looked alike, and your Madison looks just like you! Sweet Flynn is a combination of all! Blessings on this Thursday morning.

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  3. Oh Billie Jo, I am sorry your heart is hurting. Losing a parent is so hard. But I know you'll be fine because your outlook on life and moving forward is full of Hope!
    Love the pictures of your kids. How fun for the older ones to go to a concert! But I'm with you, a TV picnic is more my speed.

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  4. Prayers for you Billie Jo. And Rhett looks just like your father! What a sweet gift from God.

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  5. Thinking of you, losing a loved parent is so hard. I'm sure he would be so proud of you and your family!

    Isn't your son sweet to take his sisters to the concert!! Picnic and tv is more my speed too! Have a good weekend!

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  6. Its amazing how much your son resembles your Dad. It must be hard to lose a parent, I am blessed that they are both still alive.

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  7. Such a precious family, Billie Jo! My, your Peyton's hair is glorious!

    So when I saw your dad's picture {I hadn't scrolled down yet} I said, "Wow, Rhett looks just like his grandpa!" Then, I scrolled down and you had put an image up of him :)

    Thanks for sharing. Thinking of you, sweet friend.... Love and hugs!

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  8. As one who is a Daddy's girl (My Daddy is 89 this year)....this brings tears to my heart and my eyes. I'm so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine the pain.
    Sending gentle hugs,
    Jackie

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  9. Praying for you my sweet friend. Rhett sure looks like you dad❤️
    Isabella was a little jealous ok maybe I was too about the concert when I saw Madison post a picture.
    Have a good Thursday!

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  10. {{Billie Jo}}} keeping you in prayer. Rhett sure likes your dad. Thanks for sharing....Blessings

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  11. Wow! Rhett looks just like your dad, that's amazing. Grief really does come in waves but it sounds like you're riding those waves the best way possible. With hope, sorrow and fondness--clearly your dad lived an amazing life. I love the little peeks into your day to day life.

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  12. Such a moving post Billie Jo. How you describe missing your Dad is how I still feel about my Gram often...thinking I should be calling her or planning a road trip visit. Hugs to you as you think of your Dad! My Papa (what I call my Dad) recently had a cancer scare. We're blessed with a good outcome and they got it all - but it makes me think how much each day is truly a gift and no one gets a guarantee. My Mother-in-law is still here, but really she's not. Alzheimer's has already taken her from me and I have already grieved her loss. We need to treasure & love up the beautiful family we have on this planet while we're able. So grateful for God's gifts!!

    Your family is so beautiful and that dessert looks AAH-MAZING!! Yum! The french toast too!

    Happy almost weekend Sweetie. xoxo

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  13. Great tribute and yes, your son looks so much like him!

    Your french toast look amazing. You should post a recipe just for little ol'me who doesnt know how to cook!

    FUN TIMES for the kids to see a concert. I remember my mom wouldn't let me go to the ZZ Top concert because, ya know, there would be crazy people there or something.

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  14. I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is such a silent cross to carry. What is the date of your father's passing?
    Your son really does look so much like your dad! What a gift!

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  15. Your son's resemblance to your dad is stunning. I'm glad you made good memories to fill your heart. I can't imagine life without my father, but if nature takes its course, I know I will. He turned 88 today. His steps are slower, but he's still a pillar of strength to me.

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  16. Billie Jo, your son looks so much like your father. What a wonderful daily blessing for you! {{HUGS}} I pray that you will be comforted by all the sweet memories of your father.

    PS that cake looks sooooo good!

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  17. HI Billie Jo~

    What a tender post today. I know the pain of losing a father, mine passed away over 30 years ago, and I miss as much today, as the day he passed . . . Hugs to you! Your son is very handsome, just like your dad - what a sweet reminder for you every time you look at him . . . or hug him.

    You have a beautiful family - always making fun memories, I love that!

    Beautiful pictures of your home, it's so pretty. I can just imagine sunny mornings on your porch . . . very peaceful!

    Gentle Hugs,
    Barb

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  18. Billie Jo I am so sorry to hear about your dad, even though a year has passed that is something you never truly fully heal from. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I have lost too many people in my life and I still miss them all the time. That's why I always do my best to live life to the fullest. Your son Rhett is a splitting image of your dad :-) Your dad lives on through the great memories you've created.
    The dessert looks amazing! I bet that concert was great too and they sure look happy! :-)
    Have a wonderful weekend, big hugs to you!

    Blessings,
    Jill

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  19. Losing a loved one is hard. So thankful for the knowledge that death is not the end and "families can be together forever." Your son looks so much like your dad. amazing. Sounds like an overall good week for your family. Enjoy the weekend.

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  20. Beautiful, even though bittersweet, thoughts on your father. I actually feel a tinge of achy pain sprinkled with jealousy when I see grandfathers at their grandchildren's sports or school activities.And the picture of Rhett by your father's picture?? Wow! The resemblance is uncanny!!

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  21. (((hugs))) What a blessing your son looks so much like your father. So many little things like that show us the hand of God. My heart breaks for you.

    Is that THE chocolate cake? You know the one we make similar? Looks amazing.
    We've been making brownies every time we have a house showing...I can NOT eat a brownie every single time. I say this as I'm eating it when we get home. (you know we bake the brownies to make the house smell homey!)

    How fun for your kids to go to the Ed Sheeran concert...Every time he has another hit, I'm like, he's so talented.

    Much love to you Billie Jo...

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  22. Oh, yeah, and it's still not warm enough for mornings on the porch...can't wait though! (we've had a few afternoons on the porch) High of 45 Monday. Nice.

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Thanks so much for saying hello!