...my father. And how much I miss him. It has been over a year since his passing...and I am still coming to terms with the fact that he is gone. Intellectually, I understand it. I know that he is gone. But in my daily life, I still find myself thinking about what he may be doing or that I haven't talked to him lately. It is almost like a dream. For a brief nanosecond, I forget. Then...immediately...like a punch to my stomach...I remember.
Sometimes when I am cleaning up the dinner dishes, I actually think about fixing a dish for him because I know he likes certain things I make like pasta or even hotdogs. And then...I remember. Death is new to me. For that...I am blessed...I know. The finality of it. The vast, hollow, unexplainable feeling that you will never see or touch or hear your loved one again...that is pain. Pain that I had never felt before.
I realize I am blessed in the fact that before my father passed...(I still cannot bring myself to use the word "died")...My life centered on birth and life. Now...I am aware that doesn't last forever. The people that have known you longer than you knew yourself...your parents and grandparents...won't always be in your life. They will go. And you will be left to life without them. And that is excruciatingly hard.
I realize I will miss my father until the day I die. Until the day I see him again. In the meantime, I remind myself that the best way I can honor him is to live a life he would be proud of. To be the best wife and mother and daughter and sister and friend I can be. And it helps that I see him in my own son more and more each day. God is good, you know. I believe he knew long before I was born that I would miss my father fiercely after he passed. And so He arranged to send me my son. A living, breathing brand new soul who looks and acts so much like his grandfather...a gift to me. It's the circle of life, I suppose. And again I realize that I am blessed. : )
Here is a peek at our life this past week in our country home...
and my son, who reminds me of his grandfather every single day. : )
The trees in our backyard...when the wind blows and the leaves rustle...my Flynn always says that it is Grandpa coming to visit. And then she says, "Hello, Grandpa!"
On a yummy note...this was Mother's Day dessert this year. And it was as good as it looks!
Thank you Peyton and Flynn!
We are enjoying mornings on the porch now...
and I am drinking coffee from my brand new mug...a gift from my Madison. : )
My girl and her dog. : )
And again with her baby. Baby Cute to be exact. : )
Quick homeschool lunch...French Toast. My fave.
And jump roping in a tutu. Princess style. : )
Part of my Rhett's birthday present this year...tickets to see Ed Sheeran in concert! And he took his older sisters along. : ) Any guess where my Madison was? If you guessed running late...you'd be right!
Ahhhh! Here we go! They sent me one from the concert...they had a wonderful time! Shoutout to my hubby for always being the fun one and doing the concert stuff! Flynn and I stayed home and had an indoor picnic in front of the television. Much more my speed. ; )
Have a wonderful weekend, friends.
Thanks for visiting!