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02 May 2018

It's Ok

For the most part, I like to keep it pretty upbeat around here. I try to focus on the positive and encouraging parts of life. To quote my good friend Alan, "Why not?!" But life isn't always like that, is it?


This is a tough one for me. My dear father used to call me "The Peacemaker". I don't like conflict. I don't like chaos. I want everyone to be happy. But sometimes, life gets messy. I realize I cannot control the behavior of other people. People do mean things. They say mean things. They twist situations and conversations around. Certain people are unable or unwilling to recognize the needs or feelings of others. They feel that every situation revolves around them, and cannot accept when it doesn't. Some people bring chaos and uneasiness and stress to our world, no matter how hard we try to accept or love or help them. As hard as it is, we must find the strength to finally say that enough is enough. And step away from the relationship, for our own peace. For our own health. For our own family. And realize...it's ok. 

 
This is ok.
It really is.




26 comments:

  1. I also do not like confrontation and conflict and try to keep peace, sometimes at all costs. I understand what you are saying.

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  2. It is okay. Even when it's hard.

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  3. AMEN!!!! So very, very hard to do!!!

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  4. Oh goodness, I really, really needed this today.
    Thank you for sharing from your heart. <3
    I think you blog is pure therapy sometimes. ;)

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  5. This really hit home with me, as it reminds me of a nearly fourty year friendship that I recently ended because of the toxicity

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  6. Thanks for speaking from your heart. I can relate. It's even harder when it's a family member. Healthy boundaries are good.

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  7. Things like this are so hard to deal with and live with. I know there have been times when I have had to put into action the words that are in your last image on today's post. Thank you for sharing your heart here today, Billie Jo. You are in my prayers, my friend.

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  8. Hang in there friend. I hope you are all doing okay.

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  9. I wish you had posted this yesterday, I have such a deeply troubled heart over a situation that I have no control over...sigh...thank you Billie Jo. smiles

    Whatever is going on, keeping you in prayer.

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  10. So true. I face a similar situation in my life. I've been sorry to walk away from it, but in the end, I have to look out for myself and the people in my house, period. I can't be the best me if I'm upset all the time. I hope you're doing well.

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  11. We all have toxic people to deal with, but as we get older (cringe) we learn to eliminate these people from our lives. Or we learn to control the situation. You are strong and you are kind.

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  12. So real. I've been here. You've said it beautifully. It IS ok and I love you for this ♥ (if we were together right now we would be clinking coffee mugs : )

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  13. Yup. I just picked up a book in hopes to gain some parenting wisdom called, "Emotional Virtue: A Guide to Drama-Free Relationships", by Sarah Swafford. Highly recommend it to anyone. It has a main audience age of high-school through college, but really, it is for anyone.

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  14. A hard lesson to learn, but I think most of us have been there at least once. Hugs!!

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  15. Life is messy for sure. We must take care of our hearts making sure we are true to what we believe. Thank you for sharing as I'm pretty sure we've all been here. ♥

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  16. I completely agree. I had a relationship with a friend who was just like that. She was really hard to be around and seemed to suck everything out of you. I finally had to stop 'playing' with her. It was hard but needed to be done.
    Thanks for sharing this post!
    Saimi

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  17. Hi Billie Jo~

    I'm so sorry...it will be ok. Like others here, just recently, I had to walk away from a friendship that just took all of my strength and energy to maintain. Until I stepped away, I didn't realize how toxic this person was, but, it's ok, and it will be ok...you will be in my prayers sweet friend.

    Hugs and Love,
    Barb

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  18. Amen to the last photo! We all know someone in our lives like that.

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  19. By the time you are my age, most of us have weeded out the unhealthy and now feel like relationships we have maintained are worth it. Once, many many years ago, I walked away from a relationship so unhealthy, it was tearing me apart...best thing I ever did.
    Thoughts and prayers for you......

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  20. Mom, you are amazing! You are inspiring and helping so many people by writing this. :)

    Madison | Breakfast at Madison’s

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  21. Praying that all is well with you, never easy to walk away but sometimes the best thing you can do.

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  22. Oh my sweet friend I have been there.❤️

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  23. Dear Billie Jo ... I am so sorry this happened to you. I love the words by Mandy Hale. I will be praying that those words will help you to feel that all is OK. Warmest Hugs ♥ Teri

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  24. Sad but so true. I know what you mean - and how I feel I know you...I have no doubt you gave this person a lot of the benefit of the doubt and patience. But toxic is toxic. Prayers and hugs for anything you're still going through Hon. xoxo

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  25. Billie Jo, this reminds me so much a friendship I had a young teacher. Christine and I were inseparable back then. I even asked her and her husband to be Anna's godparents. But the relationship changed. And became toxic. I'm sure there's more to the story, I'm sure that I did things that hurt her even though I didn't on purpose. I all ended when I was criticized for holding Anna too much, for not being a normal drop them off, get a babysitter new mom. I'm glad I stood my ground and was me. I said goodbye to her and decided to let it go. I choose to think of that crazy friendship as a window God had me in at the time. I knew I needed to let go because I was being bullied and hurt day in and day out. I stepped away and have never regretted it. My only wish is that Anna had other God parents. I feel especially bad because of her unique situation. First abandonment in China, then even her own Godparents just didn't work out.

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Thanks so much for saying hello!

Billie Jo

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