Monday, July 20, 2015

And That's Quite Alright

We don't spend our summer days at the pool. We don't spend our summer evenings at the ball field.
We do our own thing. And that's quite alright. If there's something I have learned over my almost nineteen blessed years of mothering, it's that it is alright to do your own thing. Do your own thing and what makes you and your family happy.

What makes you happy may not always be the norm. It may not always be what everyone else is doing. And that's alright. I didn't always feel so confident in that fact. Turning forty a few years ago, however,  allowed me the freedom to stop worrying. To stop worrying about pleasing others and find comfort in the fact that by doing what we enjoy, our family may be different, but not wrong.

If I could be so bold as to offer a piece of advice to the younger moms out there, it would be this...
Do what you want. Live YOUR life. Find joy in the things that make you happy. Respect the fact that others may have different interests and hobbies. Refrain from judging others on the basis of your differences. Don't compare yourself or your parenting to anyone else. No one knows your family better than you.

If you ever find yourself feeling pressured or inadequate or uncertain, remember this. No one knows your heart or your family...your strengths or your challenges...your interests and your dreams more than you. No one else knows what makes your family happy. You may do things differently...you may not be the norm. And you know what. That is honestly quite alright. : )
















13 comments:

  1. Beautiful Billie Jo and I do agree. Have a lovely Monday my friend. Blessings

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  2. We do our own thing. I find myself getting more anti-social every year??!! Wonder why that is. I just want to be home with my husband and kids! Just us! Feels like I have no friends sometimes because I really don't make an effort to reach out and get together with others. oh well. Doing my own thang!

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  3. I feel the same way. Each and every one of us on this planet, has different ways of doing things, different play, different thoughts, and what is right for me, might not be right for my neighbor. I prefer being at home, or with my family doing anything, rather than being in crowds or at large gatherings....except church. Life is short at best, and we need to spend time like we enjoy. Happy new week!

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  4. YES! Always do what is best for YOUR OWN family and don't worry about what the others are doing.

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  5. Beautiful advice, sweet friend :) Advice that I will certainly heed.

    Have a blessed week! Hugs!

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  6. If only... if only I knew you before Anna came home. Before I tried to make her just like all the other 15 month olds around me. The 15 month olds in my family and those of my friends. (I ... sob... took away her bottle and gave her a sippy cup because all of the other toddlers....... ) If only I had met you then you would have told me not to stress that Anna didn't nap like EVERY OTHER 15 month old. And that it didn't make me a bad mother because she didn't "go down for a nap" just like the rest of them. We stayed up during nap and cuddled on the couch and watch Elmo videos with our dog Chester on the couch with us. But If felt rotten because I could never 'get her' to nap. Now I love those couch afternoon memories. If only I'd known you then I would have had someone to tell me just what you told me in this post. It took me a LONG time to learn this. Some on my own and a lot from you. And now... we do our OWN thing. What works for us. What makes us happy and what makes us tick. Right now Scott is at the pool with Abigail. JUST SWIMMING in the shallow end. When Anna was her age she'd already been through years of expensive (she hated them) swimming lessons. Because she had to "keep up". Now I could care less that Abigail just laughs and has FUN at the pool tonight with daddy. No 'have to's'. Just fun! That is what I adore about your family. Aspire to. Just be you. Love your kids. Have a wonderful family. But make it YOURS. Love this post! And love the mother you are! Every once in a while... keep writing posts like these. I need them.

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  7. Absolutely wonderful advice, Billie Jo! It took me a long time to accept this truth as I am quite the people pleaser. I have found that I do learn a little more every year and that is a very good thing!

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  8. Oh I so love this! I always say if I could go back and talk to that young mom.....

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  9. You are so right! Whether you are a Mom or not! I think though that it comes with age and has to come with age, otherwise you don't appreciate it in the same way! xx

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  10. Thank you for the reminder! I'm especially in need of it this summer as I'm feeling that wrestle of "this is all the stuff/fun everyone else is doing and we don't do all that, are we doing enough for our kids?" type feelings. I'm also feeling restless without the good friend support for myself and the big kids in recent months as well. I think it's a growing period and moving toward another time of transition before a new baby, so I feel a bit unsettled. Thanks for reminding me that we know our family best and not to be pulled into that temptation of keeping up with the "normal" of everyone else around us.

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  11. Thank you for that sweet advice. We've been learning that slowly, but surely. :)

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  12. Amen! Just love this and so glad you put it out there. ;)
    xoxo

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  13. I love these reflections! And I love the way you spend your summer!
    I definitely have my days when I just need to get out of the house, but, for the most part, it's just me and the boys living simply. I savor the fact that all my children are little during this season of my life and we aren't always on our way out the door.
    It is such a gift to be a stay at home mom and be able to choose how we want our children to spend their days isn't it?

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Thanks so much for saying hello!