I am including the thoughts and memories I have in my mind. I am not going to be able to include everything that happened because, let's face it, I can't remember what I ate for breakfast some days. Some of the memories from that day have left my mind and found a new home in my heart. But some remain, because how could you not remember pieces of the day your first baby was born? The day she made your dreams come true...
November 25, 1996 was a Monday. And my firstborn baby was overdue. Early in the morning, Steve and I set out to the hospital so I could be induced. The one thing I remember was lying in a bed and feeling my water break. It was around 4:00 in the afternoon. I looked at the nurse and told her I thought something was happening. I asked her what that meant. She looked at me and smiled and said that it meant we wouldn't be going home without a baby.
The rest of the evening is blurry. I remember my mother and father and Steve being there. I remember the Steelers were playing Monday night football, yes...really...and I remember beginning to feel my labor progressing. The pain, that is. Me...not so much. They gave me medicine to try to help things along, but as painful as it was, nothing was happening. I tried everything I knew. Everything the nurses knew. Every position. But no progress. The nurse would check me and would "give me a 2." Finally, they decided to stop the medicine and see what the night would bring.
I do have a vivid memory here. I remember lying in bed thinking that if they stopped the medicine, the pain would stop, right? I was such a novice. I looked at my mom. She was sitting right beside my bed. And I remember asking her when the pain would stop. I remember her smiling. I remember her holding my hand and telling me it wouldn't. Until I held my baby.
I labored all night. Eventually the sun came up. My doctor came and checked me. The nurses were so supportive. I continued to labor. My little Madison wasn't in any hurry. Finally, it was 3:00. Shift change. My favorite nurse from the previous day returned and came in expecting to see a baby. When she didn't, she immediately called the doctor and they talked to me about a C-section. It had been almost 24 hours since my water broke. I had never progressed passed 3 centimeters. They may have expected me to cry and feel bad. They may have expected me to beg them to allow me to continue in hope of having a vaginal birth. I didn't. We came there for a baby. How he or she came into the world made absolutely no difference to me. I felt blessed that a C-section was an option. And I was ready to meet our baby.
My nurse Mae ran to stop the anesthesiologist before he left. She caught him in the parking lot as the snow began to fall. I was prepped for surgery. I remember noting except this...I remember as clear as can be meeting my dear father's eyes as I was wheeled out to surgery. He smiled at me. I can see it still. This man who was not present for any of his own children's births...those were the days men waited outside pacing up and down the hall after all...had witnessed a long and painful labor and was worried for his daughter. But he smiled and let me know it would be alright.
The next memory I have is lying on the table and hearing my wonderful doctor say, "It's a boy head! It's a boy shoulders! What happened??? It's a girl!!!" I had a daughter! It was 5:04 PM on November 26, 1996. Our baby was here. I remember being taken to my room. Steve was there with a bundle in his arms. I remember him placing her in my arms. I do. I remember holding my baby for the first time. I still feel it in my soul. Someone asked me her name. I looked at Steve and he smiled. I replied that her name was Madison. Madison Marie.
I looked around that cozy, dark room. I remember the love. My husband. Our baby. My parents. The snow falling outside. I felt blessed. And I continue to feel the blessing from that cozy night. Eighteen years later.
Our precious Madison Marie. : )