Just Do You

Steve and I were enjoying our morning time together one day last week. We were in our usual spot on the couch, Steve with his tea, and me with my coffee. We were watching our favorite morning show, Match Game '74 ...Yes, really... and a commercial came on for some sort of treadmill or incline trainer. A young woman, with flawless makeup and a great big smile, was throughly enjoying her morning workout, which consisted of casually running on a treadmill with an incline nearly perpendicular to the floor.

Even when I was young, I didn't enjoy mornings on a treadmill. Especially dressed as a model complete with a perfect ponytail. I didn't enjoy Zumba, or Aerobics, or even walking for an extended period of time. Some people do. Me? Not so much. And I used to feel badly about that. I felt I was supposed to want to exercise everyday...to enjoy brisk walks in the morning, and dressing up for exercise class at night.

Another thing about me? I am a homebody. I have always been happiest and most comfortable within the walls of my home. I never feel the desire to get dressed up on the weekends and go out to dinner or to a bar or a party. I feel much more happy being in my jammies, pouring a cup of coffee and hitting the couch for the evening. That is just me. It is who I am. I used to feel weird about that. I used to feel that I shouldn't be happy at home with Lifetime movies and a good book. I should be like everyone else, right?

And then there is the sun. I have always avoided the sun. I just do not enjoy being in the hot sun. I don't like to sit in the sun, or lay out in the sun. I just don't like it. And that is something I have felt weird about my entire life. I like to go outside in the early morning or late afternoon. I enjoy being at the beach when everyone else is leaving. It is just me.

This of course brings me to one last thing. I have never tanned. My skin is as white in August as it is in December. I am pale, and I always have been. It doesn't bother me. But it seems to bother other people! It used to bother me when people constantly commented on my lack of a tan. It used to make me feel embarrassed to wear sleeveless shirts in the summer because I knew someone would comment on my pale skin. Again. It is just who I am.

I do not judge other people's choices. I learned a long time ago that what other people do and enjoy  is not my concern. Simply because I don't enjoy exercising, socializing, or tanning does not mean I think those things are wrong. Or weird. Not in the least. Some people enjoy exercise. That is great, really. Some people like to go out. I think that is awesome. And some people love the sun. They enjoy getting a tan every summer. Again. That's great, really!

While I feel that all of these things are great for people who enjoy them, I have only recently felt comfortable admitting that I don't. I haven't always been able to own the fact that I may be different, even considered strange by some. Today, I am comfortable in who I am. And in what I like. And I can only hope other people will be the same. But if not, that is ok. Really. Because at 48 years old, I am who I am. And I am proud to be me.

I wish I could tell my younger self not to worry so much about what other people think.  I wish I could tell her to own who you are. Embrace the quirks that make you...you. Be yourself and respect the fact that others may not agree with what you do. I would tell her the best feeling in the world is being comfortable with yourself and who you are. I would tell her...Just do you.













29 comments:

  1. Oh I so agree with you, Billie Jo, to each his or her own! I love staying home, but I do like to go at times also. Here lately it's my Hubby when we 'go', he gets bored easy. Have a good day and just Be You!

    ReplyDelete
  2. A lovely post from the heart, you are so right there is no right or wrong so just be you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is GREAT! It took me a long time to get to this point, but I feel the same way about most of the things you do. (except I DID go back and color my hair last week, after going gray! lol) The good thing about 'not' tanning, is that it's the new cool thing, as everyone has become so much more aware of the risks of sun cancer. You were cool before your time, and didn't even realize it. I love love love being home!!!! It exhausts me just to think about all the socializing that others do. ha!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I feel exactly the same! I do not like being in the sun at all and am proud of my fair skin. I would rather be home than anywhere, which is hard because I do work outside the home. And I not feel the need to keep up a workout routine. At almost 44, I am finally happy with who I am. Thank you so much for posting this. 😊

    ReplyDelete
  5. Please continue to be a role model to your children about the beautiful no tan skin you have. Just having my 2nd basil cell removed from my leg. Short shorts....Thank you for blogging about it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Preach it! I love staying home more than anything else. I will gladly join your homebody club!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. As I have aged, I feel the way you do and never apologize...it is me. I admit when I was young - you age, I enjoyed going out to dinner or to a movie, etc., but now I prefer eating at home, and watching a movie on TV or video. I am more comfortable in my pajamas than having to be prim and proper in front of others. You just continue to be the good you, and enjoy life your way.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I agree with you. It is sad that it takes till our 40's to realize this. I am turning 47 this year and finally am OK with all my little quirks.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I think many of those feelings come with age. After about 45 you just don't give a rip what other people think. You just go on being you and I will really like that.

    ReplyDelete
  10. You are so totally right! I wish that I could remember this more for myself, but I am glad for you that you can remember it for yourself. You are perfect just as you are and I am glad to know you in blogland just as you are!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on that matter. I share some of your likes too; especially the staying at home part. I don't feel the need to go out, to be happy. At home I am the happiest; sharing time with my husband and family, when they are here...and even when I am home alone. You gave some of us a boost to feel happy with ourselves just the way we are. Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh dear Billie Jo, I so hear you. When we are younger we care what other folks think way too much. It took me a long time to just be me! God only made one Me so why try to change it! Thank you for writing from your heart! xoxo ♥

    ReplyDelete
  13. Such a heartfelt, honest and raw post Billie Jo. I do agree with many of the others, I think we become more comfortable in our own skin later in life.
    I remember years ago watching a Dr. Phil show, and something he said to one of his gets really hit home to me. He told her, "if you only knew how little time most people truly are thinking about you, you'd stop worrying about what others think."

    ReplyDelete
  14. I love your post... We are two peas in a pod.... except, I am about 20 years older than you and no one warned us of the sun ..when in 1968 at age 18 I spent the day under a beach umbrella not wanting to get a sunburn! I never laid out for a tan either... Haha I got sun poison from the reflection of the sun on the ocean. This past fall I had a squamous cell cancer on the top of the end of my nose and had a postage stamp area of skin removed from the end of my nose. and then spent the next couple of months dealing with reconstructive surgery... You are so wise to avoid the sun... and I only wish I could go back and redo that one time in the sun because of it I may very well have more episodes.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Preach Sister! Lol Love it so much. I think in my mid 40's I've been more comfortable in my own skin than I ever have before too. Maybe God grants us that grace because we age...ain't no way around it. Acceptance is a wonderful and beautiful thing. ;) xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  16. And PS: Yep, you're beautiful and perfect just as you are Lady!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Oh my, Billie Jo, my thoughts are so much as yours. I love being home. I love being comfy in our home. I love the sunshine, just not out in it. I too, would much rather be outside early morning or in the evening. As far as exercise. It is not a favorite of mine. I like (you noticed I didn't say love) gentle workouts ... light weights and riding our recumbent bike. My hubby is much better at exercising than I am. We both want to exercise at home. We are both homebodies. I am happy and I am content. I hope that you have a good week my sweet friend. Homespun Hugs ♥ Teri

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hi Billie Jo!

    I agree, agree, agree! I don't like to exercise, I never have, although I did for a long time...I felt way better when I quit! I like to go for a walk, but not a long walk. I don't tan, I can get very tan, but I choose not to be in the sun...too old for that, and I don't need anymore wrinkles... ;0) No wonder you have such gorgeous skin!! I wondered what your secret was!

    I love to be home, I am content to just be in my cozy home, with the world outside my window. The saying that...home is where your heart is, is me.

    there does come a time in your life where you just have to be content with who you are, and it's good to be just you. All of those little funny things about us do make us individual and different from the rest of the world...what a boring place that would be if we were all the same!

    I don't even have to tell you to have a cozy week...you just know how to do cozy!!

    Hugs and Love,
    Barb

    ReplyDelete
  19. yes, I wish I could tell my younger self a few things to not worry about either And I hate the sun too!

    ReplyDelete
  20. You're a sweet beautiful woman! Am a lot like you -- not a big socializer and love to be at home! Hope you have a super day!

    ReplyDelete
  21. I love this. I too wish I could go back to my younger self and talk to her...boy would I have a lot to say.
    You know I am a beach girl and love the sun but no matter how much time I spend outside I do not tan I only burn.
    Hope you are having a great week!!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Yes to all of this! I was sitting with a mom at school yesterday and we were both commenting on how much more laid back we are now than we used to be when the kids were younger because we've realized that most of IT (all the stuff we used to stress about) did not matter one bit. It's too bad all this wisdom comes with age! I could have used a big dose of it years ago!!

    ReplyDelete
  23. It has taken me years to come to this point. It was hard to realize that what people thought didn't really matter. It's really freeing to live your life for you and not for the opions of others. I often think if only I could do this different or tell my younger self this and then I think no. I'm in a great place and if I made changes I might be in the happy place I am today.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I loved this post! We have much in common friend!
    Blessings from Harvest Lane Cottage,
    Laura

    ReplyDelete
  25. I love the doggie kisses you are getting there! When I was younger I had to do my hair and makeup before leaving the house. Even raising kids I was that way. Since retiring, not so much. Visited a friend in the hospital yesterday and I had to laugh on the way up there....I did not put on make up! haha...I don't tan, which is surprising since I have olive like skin. Just not one to love being out in the sun. As being a homebody...my fibro has made me that way. I have gone from being a social butterfly to staying at home more and more. It is hard planning things cause I am not sure if I can follow through with those plans. But....other than that part of it, I am happy with whom I am. It took many yrs to get to this point, to love me but I do now and I don't care if folks don't like me. It does not bother me in the least. Be happy!

    ReplyDelete
  26. This is so perfect I feel like I could have written it myself! I've only recently become completely comfortable with who I am and what I like, and not feeling self conscious about it. I'm trying to teach John the same! Thank you for putting it so eloquently! #justdoyou
    (my new favorite hashtag! : )

    ReplyDelete
  27. I love this.
    I used to love to exercise. But not now. I have just come to the realization that I don't like it anymore. Is it age? Is it that it takes so dang much time? I don't know, but admitting it, somehow takes away a little guilt of not doing it.
    I DO love the sun though. I yearn for the warm. Maybe because we live in MN?? I love that that makes me me and you you.

    I also love being HOME. Give me Brady Bunch, Hallmark my kiddos on my lap, warm blankets and nowhere to go!! ANYDAY!!

    Wish we were neighbors.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I came back to reread this- love it!
    ❤️ You are certainly a kindred spirit.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks so much for saying hello!

I will answer any questions you may have through email, so if you would rather not do it that way, please let me know. I'll answer here. Just remember to check back for a reply!

Billie Jo