Just Do You

Steve and I were enjoying our morning time together one day last week. We were in our usual spot on the couch, Steve with his tea, and me with my coffee. We were watching our favorite morning show, Match Game '74 ...Yes, really... and a commercial came on for some sort of treadmill or incline trainer. A young woman, with flawless makeup and a great big smile, was throughly enjoying her morning workout, which consisted of casually running on a treadmill with an incline nearly perpendicular to the floor.

Even when I was young, I didn't enjoy mornings on a treadmill. Especially dressed as a model complete with a perfect ponytail. I didn't enjoy Zumba, or Aerobics, or even walking for an extended period of time. Some people do. Me? Not so much. And I used to feel badly about that. I felt I was supposed to want to exercise everyday...to enjoy brisk walks in the morning, and dressing up for exercise class at night.

Another thing about me? I am a homebody. I have always been happiest and most comfortable within the walls of my home. I never feel the desire to get dressed up on the weekends and go out to dinner or to a bar or a party. I feel much more happy being in my jammies, pouring a cup of coffee and hitting the couch for the evening. That is just me. It is who I am. I used to feel weird about that. I used to feel that I shouldn't be happy at home with Lifetime movies and a good book. I should be like everyone else, right?

And then there is the sun. I have always avoided the sun. I just do not enjoy being in the hot sun. I don't like to sit in the sun, or lay out in the sun. I just don't like it. And that is something I have felt weird about my entire life. I like to go outside in the early morning or late afternoon. I enjoy being at the beach when everyone else is leaving. It is just me.

This of course brings me to one last thing. I have never tanned. My skin is as white in August as it is in December. I am pale, and I always have been. It doesn't bother me. But it seems to bother other people! It used to bother me when people constantly commented on my lack of a tan. It used to make me feel embarrassed to wear sleeveless shirts in the summer because I knew someone would comment on my pale skin. Again. It is just who I am.

I do not judge other people's choices. I learned a long time ago that what other people do and enjoy  is not my concern. Simply because I don't enjoy exercising, socializing, or tanning does not mean I think those things are wrong. Or weird. Not in the least. Some people enjoy exercise. That is great, really. Some people like to go out. I think that is awesome. And some people love the sun. They enjoy getting a tan every summer. Again. That's great, really!

While I feel that all of these things are great for people who enjoy them, I have only recently felt comfortable admitting that I don't. I haven't always been able to own the fact that I may be different, even considered strange by some. Today, I am comfortable in who I am. And in what I like. And I can only hope other people will be the same. But if not, that is ok. Really. Because at 48 years old, I am who I am. And I am proud to be me.

I wish I could tell my younger self not to worry so much about what other people think.  I wish I could tell her to own who you are. Embrace the quirks that make you...you. Be yourself and respect the fact that others may not agree with what you do. I would tell her the best feeling in the world is being comfortable with yourself and who you are. I would tell her...Just do you.